She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
