Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
