Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
