I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
