A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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