she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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