You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
wat bout pragnant strippers??
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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