Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
