u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
