Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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