Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
