so let's talk penis.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize