Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
