David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
