worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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