What a fucking waste of an outfit
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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