Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
