Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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