I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
