in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
