he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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