my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
