it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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