brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
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