hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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