It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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