i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
do nipples grow back?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
