I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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