i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i've created a new STD.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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