Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
