let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
