You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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