Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
