I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
