he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
