I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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