Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
