Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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