You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
