somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
