We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
