i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
