So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
