Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
