remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
