Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
