he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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