he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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