At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
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