I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
