Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
