I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
