when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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