One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
